30 Days – Day 8 – “Enemies”

Someone who has made your life hell, or treated you like shit.

A little bitesize moan today, because I’m treading over old ground and have just woken up from a nap. There’s not any one person that’s been so nasty to me that they’re worthy of being singled out in particular, I’m not the Child Called It. Well, there were a couple of occasions, but I’m over them. TWEEK! Honest!

There was the normal level of name calling way back in primary school, and my patter wasn’t worth shit then so making an even more biting comeback was out of the question. There was one mouthy boy in particular who acted as the ringleader, one day I had enough and smacked him in the middle of the playground after school and he ran the entire way home. No more problems after that, I got peace and quiet and he turned out to be an alright guy. Kid stuff. High school came along and I got in a fight with a boy in the year above me as he was hassling my friend. We went toe to toe and I got my nose burst open for the second time in three days, the first being at the rugby. I’m sure I won on style though, with the most epic Glasgow Kiss you ever did see. This moment of valour came at a time where I was walking down the righteous path of pacifism and the stubborn belief that the best way to get the peace I wanted was to keep my head down and not cause bother. I got a couple of kickings as a result, including another bloody nose and that split lip from his friend. I was the “big yin” you see, as in “he’s the biggest boy, beat him and you’ll be the biggest boy.” I really didn’t want to fight, I didn’t see the point. But then I woke up one morning, realised I was pushing six feet tall, and the thing that hurt most was my pride, the fights themselves didn’t. So again I went for the ringleader and slapped him silly, and that all stopped. It was a big thing then, but now it’s so far in the past I don’t give any of it much thought. The guy’s probably got kids or something now. Fuck me we were all arseholes back then.

I’ll throw all the women together in a big pile of Moan: My mum of course, Rose for cheating on me and causing all that emotional turmoil, Ex for all that shite even though I know she didn’t mean it, the boss at the kennels who thought treating me like Forrest Gump was a good motivator, the daft bint at the Jobcentre with a constant look on her face as if she’s got a little bit of dog shit stuck in her nostrils, 28F because romance and the New Idiocy, and that girl at that club. Like I said, treading old ground. I’m far too chilled out.

Know what I need? I need a good fucking Nemesis. Someone I hate yet need to see every day. I’ve been ambling through life with nobody wanting to stab me for years, I have to go out and find myself a mortal enemy, life’s boring without one.