30 Days – Day 10 – “Get rid”

Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.

This is where I realise that I’ve got a rather good ability at compartmentalising sections of my life, and of severing all contact with someone if needs be. The big one was Ex, who I’m as sick of talking about now as you must be of reading it, but the “topics” that would bring her up are more or less gone so bear with me. We weren’t married, didn’t have kids, didn’t live together, had no joint accounts, pets or big purchases we’d bought as a couple, nothing. Which thinking about it was a sorry state of affairs for someone you’ve been with for years but there you go. Thanks to her not liking crowds or new people she hardly got to know my family, only meeting a small number of them a handful of times. So letting go (I’ve finally tied in with the title) was less a matter of careful surgery and more like cutting a piece of chewing gum out of your hair with blunt scissors. The only thing keeping us together was ourselves, and that made breaking up as simple as telling her to keep away and pretending I was a brick wall until she stopped talking to me. Easy peasy. She now falls under the wish I didn’t know category, or more specifically, wish other people didn’t know. You become associated with a person, and it can be hard to break free from that. Particularly when they were a social retard and I’m, well, hopefully not.

Right now there’s not a soul on my mind, no big attraction to anyone, which leads to a boring if hassle free life. I haven’t experienced any painful rejection because I’ve not asked for any great emotional investment. Asking someone out for drinks is a piece of piss, trying your luck at a party even easier, seeing if they want to spend any meaningful amount of time with you is something else. Maybe I’m a pussy, maybe I’m being lazy, fuck knows. And… that’s that, I’ve got no mental ball and chain holding me back from anything or anyone clinging on when I just want rid of them. Happy Johny!