30 Days – Day 23 – “Should have”

Something you wish you had done in your life.

More. I’ve coasted for fucking years, I can feel it, and you can all see it. I wish I’d have killed myself with exhaustion by now. I should’ve studied, partied, fought, fucked, drank, smoked and trained harder than I ever did. I should never have sat staring at walls with boredom or spent hours a day sitting on my arse with nothing to show for it.

Now I’m trying to fill up my days with something, so when I pass out at night I can at least say that I had fulfilled some sort of task, even if it is just keeping a room tidy or walking the dog a bit further each day. One thing that made me realise how much of my life I was pissing away, and how I could easily change it was one short clip from a film called The Acid House. I’ve never seen another film that made me stop and go “Shit, that cunt’s right!” Maybe it was a Scottish god, maybe I seen too much of myself in young Boab there. In either case, I find that my mind drifts back to this whenever I do find myself wasting time on something, and it gives me a bit of drive.

“So you had the powers! You just couldn’t be bothered usin’ them.”

I think if I were ever to get a quote tattoo, that would be the one.