Crayola, tech snobbery, and Sheldon.

Been fairly wiped out over the past few days so haven’t been up to posting on this much. Things right now are quite boring if I’m being honest. Rather than a feeling of “Now I’m working!” it’s more a sense of just getting up and doing something else that’s not very interesting all day while getting paid for it. Which I know isn’t really a groundbreaking concept. The training I’ve been doing at work isn’t exactly back-breaking, yesterday we drew a poster with crayons and felt tip pens. And I’m not being sarcastic, we honestly did get handed a big sheet of paper and were told to draw on it. I don’t even know how to transfer a fucking call to a different department but I can do an awesome rendition of the company logo with a little help from my friends at Crayola!

Other than that it’s been all good. I’ll be happy to get out of the windowless room in the dankest part of the building and up onto the main floor where I too can enjoy 45 minute phone calls consisting largely of waiting for people to reboot their nine year old computers and figure out where the address bar is in their browser. But I’m determined not to be one of those arsehole tech guys that look down on everyone, though this will almost inevitably change within my first week of proper working, where I’ll be sick of every person that calls before long. Already I’ve come across people who refuse to click the right mouse button just because they’re left handed, check what cable is connected to their router by going outside onto the street, and stories of arguments with a guy who wouldn’t turn his porn off while his PC was being remotely accessed. There will be no “Guh! This seventy year old woman couldn’t tell me what her MAC address was, what an idiot!” Promise.

Everyone in the training group is fairly cool, no nasty people at all or general grumps, we all talk and have a laugh. There is one guy though, he’s the designated Him. Every classroom, workplace, bus, family and any other place where groups of more than three people congregate have a Him. Just one of nature’s laws I guess. He’s not a nasty guy, he just doesn’t know when to shut the fuck up. I’m going to name him Sheldon, after the Big Bang Theory character, though he lacks any of the obnoxiousness of his namesake. So, Sheldon is probably the most stereotypical tech support guy you’re ever likely to find. He was the one who made the joke about Doctor Who’s psychic paper on the first day, carries around a niche brand smartphone the size of a dinner plate and seems absolutely incapable of talking to someone without making some sort of reference to things that next to nobody knows about, unless you’re a complete geek like me who has spent more time in front of a TV than the average catatonic pensioner. This means he has a polyphonic ringtone of the Power Rangers theme, starts singing out about Red Dwarf at every opportunity and whose mind constantly plays word association games with whatever his ears happen to pick up.

It makes me a bit sad to see him to be honest, I get the feeling that while he’s fundamentally good, he’s went through life making himself the butt of every joke and can’t quite figure out how to stop himself from doing it. Already what started as laughing at the daft things he’d say has turned into a thousand jokes at his expense. There’s no maliciousness to it, but it’s treading a fine line as he just can’t fire back… wittily enough I guess you could say. He trips over his own words, or makes a reference to something so obscure, like a 90s TV ad, that what could have been a stinging retort ends up being worse for him than if he’d said nothing at all. Part of it is that he reminds of of my little brother back when he had the habit of repeating things he’d hear coupled with daft sounds effects to accompany it. There’s a nervous energy about him, like he’s determined to be outgoing but hasn’t got the method right yet. He mentioned today that he’d never once drank, or smoked, or taken anything illegal, and that’s perfectly fine, people are free to do what they want obviously, but I couldn’t help but feel a bit of pity for him, as it seemed he never had because the chance to do so never appeared rather than any deliberate choice in the matter.

Having said all that, some of the shit he comes out with is just plain retarded, particularly if a woman walks through the door. One, let’s say larger, lady walked through the door and commented that the room was really hot, Sheldon blurted out “That’s because you just walked in the room!” without seeming to think about how that might be taken. At best he might seem a weirdo, at worst he’s just been sarcastic to a fat girl, who had recently become a team leader. Our team leader from what I hear. It’s going to be like watching a car crash in slow motion.

In other news: nothing. I work all day, and spend most nights either reading, writing, or trying not to sit on my arse, which at the moment is failing horribly. The situation with the girl I’ve been spending a few nights and early mornings with hasn’t changed in the slightest, which is a good thing. I’ve been meaning to give her a name, as “the girl” doesn’t seem very nice, but horribly I can’t think of anything that distinctive about her. Tattoos? Tits? I dunno. She’s cool, and turns me on, that’ll do. For tonight I’m having a bit of a catch-up with Marsha, who I was supposed to be picking up right this very second. Oops.