Archive for February, 2012

Back to posting in the middle of the night for a few days at least. I’m backshift at work so I clock off when others are thinking about heading to bed. Truth be told I’m just trying to kill time for a while and see about staying awake. I’m feeling a bit fucking rough today. Was over at that girls house, the one I had The Talk with more than a month or so ago yet we still keep bumping into each other naked. Rolled a couple of joints, sat and watched a Thai film with awful dubbing, shagged a half-dozen times then passed out in the wee hours of the morning. I spent the night there for once as I was too tired to move and thought that buggering off again would’ve been me acting thoroughly shittily. So I slept in a room that was too hot, on a bed that was too soft, next to a girl who monopolised all the fucking real estate and left me half dangling off of the bed. Not the best sleep I’ve ever had.

My day kicked off with workmen in the flat below hammering away, and my otherwise good mood going awry when I made a throw-away joke about her delivering me a pick-me-up at home, to which she replied that she didn’t actually know where I lived. Damn, I felt a little pang of guilt at that. I’d been up this lassie’s rear and she didn’t even know where it was I rested my head when it wasn’t between her legs? It seemed a bit cold, even for me. Was I that kind of guy? I decided no, because if I had my own place I wouldn’t be going out of my way to hide my address from the majority of women.

I stumbled back into my car with a sleep deprived hashover and found myself at home. The worlds most refreshing shower later and I was ready for work. Because I was starting in the afternoon, all of the decent headsets had been taken, as well as the chairs, so I was left with a rickety piece of shite where the back of it didn’t stay in the one place. This job is causing me more discomfort than working in the kennels or marching around as a landscaper ever did. My back is actually painful. I have a sore back, that’s old man stuff! Sitting on my arse all day doing nothing has given me a worse injury than dogs or heavy machinery ever did, and I’ve only been there a couple of months.

Things didn’t get much better from there, with cunt after complete cunt phoning up. I’m convinced that certain phones attract certain customers. There’s a least two I avoid because it’s nothing but people who don’t have a basic grasp of English, many of them without the excuse that it’s not their native tongue. Another channels pensioners and Apple customers, the latter I can detect from their tone of voice alone. I had the joy of spending half an hour remotely logged into a guy’s computer trying to figure out why his connection was going so slow when a little message that popped up in the bottom right of his screen proudly informed me that “Teen Jayne takes two big black dicks.avi” had just finished downloading. I gave him a stern talking to about the mechanics of porn torrents and sent him on his way.

My previous post has come up as being written over a month ago, it was actually only a few days, fuck knows how I managed to mangle the dates. And a big thank you to all the “zoophiles” out there, since mentioning the words “animal erotica” in the title of a post it’s now become the second most common way people find this blog on Google.

Thanks a bunch, you sick motherfuckers.

Read Full Post »