Posts Tagged ‘Personal’

I need some sort of structure in my life, because right now I have absolutely none at all. The family spent a couple of weeks on holiday not long ago, and I really enjoyed it. Partly because it was my holiday too, peace and quiet is hard to find when living with four other people, but a sizeable chunk of it was because I had to look after myself, and had the responsibility of caring for the dog. I don’t want to build it up into something larger than it is, it was just living alone for a fortnight, but it felt good. They came back on Friday and I slipped back into doing fuck all. Woke up after three o’clock in the afternoon today. Didn’t mean to, just that I subconsciously knew that there was no shit needing doing so I slapped the alarm clock off when it started ringing and carried on sleeping. A waste of an entire day. Lying in until the afternoon means that I’ll stay up later, flipping myself back onto nocturnal living, which I’ve been trying to avoid, as it’s harder to find anything to do other than sit on my arse for five hours in the middle of the night watching downloaded TV shows. Still, less than a week since I slipped back into bad habits, easily rectified. I’ll get up earlier tomorrow, take the dog out for a long walk in the woods, and spend the afternoon firing off lovely personalised CVs to all and sundry in the hopes of gaining employment.

As I’ve mentioned them, I’ll take a note of the immediate family: Mum is Mum, Dad is Dad, and I have two little brothers a few years younger than me (I’m the eldest) called Thickness and Goggles. Thickness is the middle brother, a bit chubby, a little bit shy and awkward in social situations. I worry that his brotherly beatings by me when he was younger has made him that way. He’s coming out of his shell a bit more as time goes on, one day he’ll have his “fuck it” epiphany and be fine. Goggles, so-called because he wears glasses when he isn’t around the “ladies”, is the youngest and a bit of an indie/emo kid. The opposite of Thickness, he’s a skinny wee runt who for years lived on a staple diet of plain pasta and Haribo. He’s outgoing, spends more time out of the house than in it, and probably goes to more adventurous lengths to fund his gigs-n-drink lifestyle than I’m currently aware of. They’re five and six years younger than me, respectively, so we’ve never really been that close growing up as I had so much of a head start. While they were still thinking of Pokemon, I was worrying about booze and getting my hole. Now that they’re a bit older the difference isn’t as big, and we can do more stuff together now. So that’s the immediate family, no real drama with any of them, a fairly normal household, not much more that can be said about them. There’s the dog too, who’s just the dog.

It’s far too easy to sit down and mean to check a couple of sites then end up spending a few hours sat in front of a computer screen doing absolutely nothing productive. It’s like the world’s shittest time machine that only goes one way. At the end of August I have a six mile assault course to do, my dad put me onto it and in a brief moment of “why the hell not” I signed up for it. Doing it will be good for me, but having something like that on the horizon is also very good at making a week fly by without even noticing. The race itself is in Glasgow, alongside (and partially in) the Clyde, so bound to be tough. I want to push myself as hard as I can, and as I’m not working right now, there’s no reason why I can’t do it for a couple of hours each day. The actual doing it part is fun, the making myself start part is the main obstacle. And what to do for the rest of the day? It’s nearly 10pm here, the sun is setting. and my plans to go over to Marsha’s flat fell apart when she texted saying she’d locked out her bank card and so couldn’t put money in her electricity meter, meaning we’d have been sitting in the dark. We met at college and have grown close, though for once I can safely say it’s entirely platonic. My next entry will probably be about how we met, which will no doubt encompass the epic tale of The Ex as well, as the end of one relationship overlapped with the beginning of the other, though not in any romantic way. For now, I’ll make do with trying to write for the first time in more than a week, which for some reason I haven’t been able to bring myself to do, and maybe watch six or fourteen episodes of Supernatural…

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