About

Things I lack:

Money, a job, a house, a girlfriend, an acceptably steady supply of both muff and drugs, prospects, one of those nice pictures every other cunt seems to have of themselves on their blogs, the ability to write an interesting “about” page, the exact cause and location of that rattling sound my car makes when I accelerate too hard, direction, purpose, and the good sense of when to stop so I don’t sound like a moaning faced prick.

Things I have:

An age: it’s early 20s, a location: in the middle bit of Scotland where everyone lives, a gender: obviously a guy or I’d sound a hell of a lot more sassy, enough size and weight that I’m roughly on a par with a grizzly bear, a habit of hating people who reminded me of me, mild loathing of people who used to be in church youth groups and have both condescension and a little glimmer of jealousy in their eyes whenever anything vaguely naughty is mentioned, and a dog.