That’s my very quick first week over. The morning was taken up with us watching a few videos and talking more about the spirit and vision of the company, then splitting off into groups (three of them with X-Men names, I shit you not) and trying to collectively guess various numbers about how many customers buy the different shit they sell. The trainer likes to talk about “our” business and the things “we” offer, which sounds bad enough at the best of times, but considering that “we” are actually an outsource company it’s a definite case of “they” in my eyes. In the afternoon the training proper began, going through the basics on a practice system, people being taught that the function keys at the top of a keyboard are actually used by people. I didn’t get to do any of this myself, as at first I wasn’t able to log into the system, then the computer itself wasn’t too keen on doing what it was supposed to, so I was huddled round the one screen with two other guys. Right now I’m seeing everything as a mess of data, shortcuts, acronyms and procedures bundled together in programs that are without doubt more about function than style, not that I mind. It’ll come into place eventually, so I’m not worrying about it. I did realise how little time a month can be while I was sat there in the windowless, far too hot room. Or how slow it can be too.
I’ve found myself now sitting permanently next to that girl’s boyfriend. I’d went over to check and see whether my log-in problems were to do with the account or PC, ended up sitting there for a bit, and then got placed into a group for the remainder of the training. I haven’t caught sight of any dirty looks, we just haven’t talked, which is fine by me. Having said that, I did have my first awkward work conversation with the American guy who’s retraining in the tech support side of things. We were talking away well enough, he asked me what I was up to at the weekend, I said I’d probably just have a quiet one, maybe get a drink as well. That turned into him telling me about how he used to have a serious alcohol problem, nearly died, had his stomach pumped a few times, is on various medication, all that jazz. Cool guy, but Christ leave it till next week, just say you were staying in to chill man!
It’s my second day and I’ve already found myself slipping back into the “oh god my life’s draining away!” mentality. Now that free time is a precious commodity I can’t bear to waste it. It also makes me acutely aware of how much of the day is spent sleeping, which is lying down doing nothing when you think about it. And we need to spend more than a quarter of our day doing it, madness! Getting a bit desperate to sign up to the gym or something as well, sitting nine hours a day then doing another few hours more of it at home just isn’t on. I’m still trying to get that perfect balance of sleeping as long as possible while still arriving on time. On Monday I’m going to try the longer but hopefully quieter route through an industrial estate. How exciting…
On the plus side I’ve had the urge to start writing again, did a bit in the car as I’d arrived earlier than I meant to this morning. Maybe it’s just my mind getting kickstarted, or knowing I should have done more of it when I was a scrounger. Remember NaNoWriMo from last month? I never finished it, mainly because 50,000 words was easily done but I wasn’t happy with the quality. Now I’m taking things slower and a bit more thoughtfully. I’m tired and a wee bit melancholy, so my latest grand idea is a romance with no happy ending, just a learning experience. More artful than a zombie story let’s face it. A synopsis may appear at one point down the line, but it’s too “write what you know.” Fuck it, I’ll admit it, it’s me writing about me and how I fucked things up, there we go. And one day it’s going to be one of those indie films, with a soundtrack that’s nothing but whistles and acoustic guitars. Oh god what am I turning into…
Aw Jesus naw!
A Reminder Of Fatness 
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