Another gap in posts, tried to sit down and write about a half dozen times but never got the peace to do so. But today is my day off and everyone is either out or in bed after a night shift so I figured I’d grab what little chance I have for some proper quiet to get all this typed up.
Had one of my rare nights out to a club the weekend before last, as is normal my memories are rather hazy, what I do remember after the bottle of Jack Daniels before we all left to go out was the police stopping us on the way to the train station, asking me what it was I had in my still mostly full plastic pint glass, to which I replied: “Whiskey, sambuca, tequila, vodka, some poofy fruit juice and a wee bit of cola on top to darken it.” Either they didn’t believe me or I had the good fortune to bump into the soundest polis in Scotland because I walked away with it still in hand.
The club itself was the usual medley of rock tunes that I’d either never heard of before or was too drunk to recognise, a man emploring me to “just kiss his fuckin’ burd man” and minor flashbacks of a ginger chick with big tits and a chest piece.
Through beer-goggles she might just have looked like this. But probably not, let’s face it.
Next thing I remember is standing outside, lost from everyone I went with who all appeared to have had a rammy with the bouncers and got chucked out, missing my last bus and weighing up the pros and cons of getting either a taxi or walking home 30-odd miles like you only can while completely smashed. Eventually a little kernel of common sense made itself known and I opted for a taxi instead. Walking to the rank I heard some skinny dude who looked like he would’ve lived in a Berghaus jackets were this 2007 asking if one of the drivers would take them to the town right next to mine. Operating on “close enough” logic I told the guy I was going to share the taxi with him. Yes, told. Woops.
He shouted on his two mates who were busy trying to proposition another driver and we all piled into the back of a Hackney cab and were merrily on our way. The taxi dropped me off first, and the three guys decided they’d pay my fair as they thought I was a bouncer! For £50 in my pocket I wasn’t going to correct them.
And… that’s about it. Other than that I’ve been working away and reading The Walking Dead comics. Three cheers are in order however as this is offically the 100th post I’ve made on this little blog. Not too bad I’d say!
A Reminder Of Fatness 
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